


broken technology

by JkWriter



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Diego buys Klaus a phone, Family Feels, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-12-25 11:49:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18260675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JkWriter/pseuds/JkWriter
Summary: diego makes the mistake of buying klaus a phone





	broken technology

Klaus never had a phone, which made sense. At the height of his addiction, he was pawning anything and everything he could get his hands on which included an iPod Vanya had given him for their birthday one year. A phone would have met the same fate. That didn’t mean he never wanted one. They looked cool, like something the child of a multi-billionaire should own. The problem was Reginald Hargreeves didn’t give his children anything, especially not something they’d be selling in a week for drug money. So Klaus never got a phone. He didn’t even think about it, even after everything had happened and he’d gone sober. He didn’t have a phone before so there was no point now.

“I went ahead and put everyone’s numbers in your contacts.” 

Except that Diego thought it was ridiculous Klaus couldn’t call if he was in trouble and insisted on buying him the latest iPhone. Perks of finally getting that inheritance money, Klaus guessed. 

“Okay, but how do I find the contacts?” 

“The app is on your home screen.” 

“What’s an app?” 

“Stuff you can use when you’re bored. We can look at a bunch of the games later. First, we gotta be sure you can call and text us.” 

Klaus sighed and pushed the phone back into his brother’s hands. “This is boring. I don’t want a phone.” 

“You don’t get a choice in the matter.” Diego handed the phone back to him. “Everyone agreed we would get academy phones for emergencies. You were apart of that agreement.” 

“I seem to recall protesting the idea,” Klaus said while staring down at the technology in his hands. There were too many icons on the screen. And his background was a press picture of the Umbrella Academy back when they first debuted. 

“Yeah, well you were overruled. This family is a democracy and what the majority says goes.” That’s not how the family worked because last week when everyone but Five wanted Chinese food they had to get pizza because Five refused to eat anything else. Klaus thought it wasn’t fair because he didn’t even like pizza.

“A fucking nightmare, that’s what this family is.” 

“Stop being dramatic,” Diego said taking the phone from Klaus again. Klaus watched as his brother closed the contacts and opened another app. “I’ll download Tinder for you.” 

“Isn’t that for seedy hookups in motels?” Klaus asked and Diego nodded. “I can get that at the bar on Fourth. I don’t need an app for it.” 

“Well, it’s more legit than hooking up with random people off the street,” Diego reasoned. 

“Hooking up with random people off the internet is more legit than random people off the street?” 

“Shut up,” Diego said. He handed the phone back to Klaus. “If you want to set up a profile you can, I won’t make you. For now, let’s go through the contacts again.” 

Klaus touched the screen. A window popped open. “Why is everyone’s name so boring?”

“What do you mean? They’re our names.” 

“You can edit those,” Ben said from behind Klaus. “Tap on someone and then hit edit.” Klaus hit Allison’s name. “It’s in the upper right corner.” 

“Ben, you are a lifesaver.” 

“Ben? Wait, Klaus what are you doing?” Diego leaned over to look at the screen but it was too late. Klaus has discovered the wonders of editing everyone’s name. “She’s going to kill you,” Diego said reading “Gossip Girl” on Klaus’ phone. 

“Not if she doesn’t find out. I vote we keep this between you and me.” 

“Well, I vote on telling everyone you’re coming up with terrible nicknames for them.” 

One against one. Klaus looked behind his shoulder at Ben who stood there innocently. “Ben, my dude,” Klaus said. “You’re on my side, right?” 

“I guess I did tell you how to do it.” 

“Two against one, Diego. It looks like I’ll live to see another day.” 

Diego rolled his eyes. “Just don’t make mine something stupid.” Klaus already had plans to change Diego’s to Bondage King but his brother didn’t need to know. “See if you can call and send a text.” 

“I can send a text, Diego, I’m not sixty,” Klaus said as he struggled to send Diego a message. 

All of that led to Klaus’ current situation, he and Ben stared at the phone in the toilet. Klaus flushed it to see if anything would happen. The phone stayed put. 

“Right,” Ben said, turning to face Klaus. “are you going to tell me or do I have to ask?” 

“It was an accident,” Klaus said, eyes never leaving the phone. He wondered if it still worked or had died. Would he see the spirit of his dead phone? What was the A.I. called...Siri, would he start seeing Siri? 

“Somehow I don’t believe that,” Ben said, looking back down at the phone. Klaus flushed again. “Stop that, it’s not helping.”

“Okay so,” Klaus stopped flushing, instead he tried to figure out where he could begin to explain his current predicament. “You know how Luther said we should start working on our secondary abilities?” Ben nodded. “Well I was messing around with the telekinesis, which might I add is getting better, and anyways I was taking a bath when it started buzzing. I thought it might have been something in the Academy chat so I tried to get it.” 

“Without getting out of the bath?”

“Exactly.” 

“I don’t really think dropping your phone, new phone, in the toilet because you were too lazy to get out of the bath is what Luther meant by “work on the secondary skills”. Like, Diego is going to kill you.” 

“I’m sure it’ll be fine. I can just get a new one with my allowance.” 

Ben put his hands on Klaus’ shoulders. It was something they had been working on together and it was coming along quite well. “Klaus, I love you, you know that right?” 

“Ben, my dude, you’re kinda scaring me.” 

“You can’t just replace that. They only give you $100 a week.”

Klaus wasn’t too upset by the allowance. Sure, it was frustrating knowing his siblings got all their inheritance at once but everyone, including Klaus, decided that it was too tempting as a freshly sober medium who still gravitates towards dangerous methods of keeping the spirits at bay. “That should be more than enough, right? How much did the phone even cost?” 

“You’d have to ask Diego, but I know it’s more than you’re thinking.” 

“Diego wouldn’t spend that much on a phone for me,” Klaus ignored Ben’s frown. “Let’s go find Diego.” 

Klaus’ hand glowed blue, just enough to make Ben tangible enough that he could grab his hand and drag him along behind. Ben looked back at the toilet one last time and sent a prayer to whoever was listening that Diego wouldn’t kill Klaus.

“Know where he’s at?” 

“He was downstairs helping Five go through dad’s stuff this morning.” 

“Perfect, that’s where we’ll go.” Klaus had also gotten better at levitating as shown by how he skipped the stairs. Ben was impressed with how well his brother could hold himself in the air. He didn’t need to worry about it, being a ghost and all, but he could still feel Klaus’ power where they were connected. 

They found Diego in the office surrounded by books with Five calling off titles. Klaus stepped into the room.

“Sorry to interrupt, but I have a question.” 

“You cannot get salmonella from cereal,” Five said without looking up from his work. 

“Aha! I called it. Mikey owes me twenty bucks, but that’s not the question. It’s for our dearest brother, Diego.” 

“What do you want, Klaus?” 

“Diego, that’s no way to talk to your favorite sibling. Now I don’t wanna ask since you were mean to me.”

“Just spit it out, Klaus,” Diego threw one of the books to a pile across the room. 

Klaus looked at Ben and Ben nodded. “How much did the phone cost?” 

“Like, eight hundred,” Diego answered as he threw another book. “Why?”

“Oh.” 

“Told you,” Ben said. 

Diego looked up and narrowed his eyes at Klaus. “Klaus, what did you do?” 

“No reason, just doing a bit of funeral, I mean future planning. Well, I’ll see y’all later bye.” 

Klaus ran out of the room. He heard a tower of books fall as Diego got up and Five’s frustrated yelling. Klaus ran into Ben’s room and locked the door. No one would expect to find him in here. 

“You’re so dead,” Ben reminded from his bed. 

"Diego better throw me a kickass funeral."

**Author's Note:**

> this idea came from the [discord](https://discord.gg/Pwah8sR) come join us its gr8 fun I promise


End file.
